The Land of the Unknown!

Tomorrow will be my fist day back to work after having Claire on October 28th. Right now it seems a little bitter-sweet; I'm extremely pumped to return back to work and get back into a regular routine. Although I am positive that when I have to leave my Claire bear for the first day I am sure to cry majority of the car ride there.  Thats good for me... I cried the whole day at work when I had to leave Canon for the first time. 
As a person male or female, you form attachments. For most woman you bond with your child the whole pregnancy; when I got pregnant with Canon some one told me "Channing, you became a mother the moment you found out you were pregnant; Brad will become a father the moment he holds the baby for the first time." My attachment to Canon was like no other; I felt that there was no one that could love and take care of him the  way I could. I was terrified to even leave Canon for an hour with Brad so my mom could take me to get a pedicure (more like made me get a pedicure. I was little crazy) 
Being a mom is what I like to call walking into an unknown land... Anything can happen. Bringing home your baby for the first time is terrifying & exciting all in one! With Canon i felt that it was necessary that I sit in the back seat with him to make sure he was okay and had a safe journey home (WTH) with Claire I drove home! HA!! I  had completely different pregnancies with both. Canon was FABULOUS!!!! No morning sickness, I felt like I was glowing the whole time. My water broke at noon (titans kickoff!!) and pushed for 10mins maybe a little less and BAM! Four o'clock my gorgeous Canon was in my arms. Claire's another story... Terrible morning sickness, a bumpy road the whole time; let's just say from august to October I had 28 doctors appointments. We got some scary news but it wasn't anything a little love and prayer from friends and family didn't get us through. Claire has been a rock star from day one; I have faith she will continue to be one. 
Being a parent, it's as if someone whispered in your ear and said good luck now its your turn to worry. My mom has always told me; you will understand why I worry so much when you have kids of your own. Well... she was right,(Dang!!) I am what you call a scholar in the worry wart department. If Claire so much as breathes funny at night I'm awake. If Canon coughs at night... I'm awake! If Canon pee's in the bed I think maybe its  psychological for him and what if he feels he's not getting enough attention.(poor Brad... He thinks I'm a nut bag with some of these theories) 
These munchkins are my life and it doesn't matter how many books you read or apps you might have on your phone or what advice your family and friends have given you; none of it matters. No book can tell you who your child is, your child is not made from pages in a book, your child is made from you. Learn from your children they will teach you much more than any book. 
Canon has taught me that every one should live life by waking up with a smile on their face. He is three and it feels like he already has the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy -- such as if you wake up in a good mood and you tell yourself this is going to be a great day, more than likely you are going to do everything to make it a great day. Now if you wake up saying this is going to be an awful day , guess what?? Your day will probably be pretty poopy! Now why can't some adults live life like my three year old and be happy all the time. It's a proven fact that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. 
My darling Claire has taught me not to give up,to have faith, and to not just walk aimlessly through this life of the unknown as parent but to walk with a purpose. I might not always know where I'm going or what I'm doing half the time but what i do know is that I'm not the only one in this land of the unknown and I am going to do the best that I can. 
The Land of the unknown has been around for ages; there's no perfect path. You create the path and hopefully give good direction to where your children should continue their own path into their future. Mistakes will be made but the important thing is that's the best way of learning.